19 Ways to Guarantee You’ll Fail

Success is such a burden. It takes a ton of time and effort, and it frequently requires sacrifice. And for what? Everybody knows it’s lonely at the top. And then you have to do it all again, because you don’t want to be labeled a “one-hit wonder.” Then you have to deal with higher expectations, jealously from friends and co-workers, and being constantly pestered by people asking you for advice and tips.

Nope. You’re better off never achieving anything. Keep a low profile. Just get by.

Unfortunately, opportunities for success lurk around every corner, just waiting to ensnare you. They can be hard to avoid. And you can’t afford to risk even an accidental success.

So here are 19 ways you can ensure failure:

1. Don’t try
2. Avoid doing any research or preparation
3. Don’t set any goals
4. Don’t make a plan
5. Give less than your complete effort
6. Feel and act entitled
7. Make assumptions
8. Refuse to ask for help
9. Don’t focus
10. Procrastinate
11. Doubt yourself
12. Be disorganized
13. Ignore other people’s ideas, feedback, and advice
14. Don’t follow through or follow up
15. Stay in your comfort zone
16. Make excuses
17. Take people for granted (or better yet, abuse them)
18. Ignore the lessons of previous failures
19. Give up when you have a setback

Failing is so much easier than succeeding. And with these tips, you’ll be able to fail at anything, whether it be sales, business, or your personal life. Sure you’ll make fewer sales and less money, but you’ll have way more time to lounge on your sofa. (Hey, those TV shows aren’t going to watch themselves.)

Don’t listen to all those “experts” and “gurus” who preach the virtues of    success—what do they know? Incorporate these 19 items into your daily life and you need never risk success again.